SleepTalk™ for Children

OCD / Nightmares / Speech / Anger

Yarra Valley Practitioners Project (YVPP) SleepTalk™ for Children – Case study mothers report:
Our experience with SleepTalk™ so far – 29.7.10 -17.2.11

“I first heard about SleepTalk™ in our school newsletter. My son was just about to turn 6 years old and in the middle of prep at primary school. We did not lose our home or loved ones but we were impacted and present for the black Saturday bushfires in February, 2009 and it is fair to say that our experiences on that day have changed our lives forever. My son, who was generally a happy little boy and very well behaved became unsettled and anxious, trying to fit in at school and struggling a little with his speech which was in turn affecting his reading and writing at school, causing much frustration, resulting in anger. Just to compound this we had also recently began getting rather excessive, compulsive about hand washing.

I went to my first SleepTalk™ session, really just to explore what it was about. To be completely honest it all sounded a little mumbo jumbo and had me thinking “I don’t know if I believe in this stuff being able to make a difference”. Now 6½ months on after considering I had nothing to lose but 2 minutes a night, I am so thankful for SleepTalk™, as the changes in my son are too great to call our progress pure co-incidence.

My first night with SleepTalk was one of great emotion for me. I sat there and out loud said these words and not expecting any comments from my son whilst he slept. When I said: “Mummy loves you”, he replied to me “I love you too mum”, yet he remained asleep. Joane had mentioned that I may get a reaction but I didn’t really expect that. It threw me for a moment, and chocking back my emotion I continued with the statements. So I know he hears me when I do SleepTalk™ with him, and it’s nice to know that his sub-conscious is taking these lovely statements in.

Mornings were an issue with my son always sluggish to get started, everything always too much effort. Joane suggested he may have a problem with his sugar levels first thing and suggested that a simple inch or two of watered down fruit juice first thing of a morning might help, followed up with a good breakfast including protein. WOW!!!!…..what a significant difference we noticed within the first few days. I found the improvement with my son of a morning also had an impact on me, as his sluggish, grumpy attitude despite my best efforts seemed to get me down. I felt like I was on his case a lot every morning. Now mornings just seem so much more relaxed and we just flow through our routine to get us out the door on time each day.

Other issues that have improved include:
Compulsive Hand Washing: With continual monitoring and re-assurance the problem just disappeared, and we’ve not broached the subject again.

Speech Issues: This was a real distressing issue for me. To sit back and watch a little person have so much anger and not be able to deal with it, to not really know how to fix it for him because anytime we would try to talk about it with him his anger would accelerate and turn toward us, making it very difficult to work through and help him. I cried so many tears over this, every time I saw him so distressed, I felt like I was failing him because I couldn’t make it all better, this enhanced my stress levels also and emotionally it drained me. Other than SleepTalk™ there was no other aid we used to deal with his anger and management of, so my son, my relaxed little boy who now talks to me about what’s bothering him and seeks our help when he finds things tough, is a different kid and in extension I am a different mum, more relaxed and stress free. WOW it feels good! And I solely thank SleepTalk™ for this.

Nightmares: Particularly since the fires and when reminders of the fires like memorials, smells of smoke and sirens ringing occur. While the nightmares do subside with time, it only takes one of these reminders to bring them right back again.

The second anniversary of Black Saturday on the 7.2.11 caused some reaction, but right now I’m enjoying having my son back again because at one stage I felt helpless and as though I was losing him to an extent, particularly with his anger issues and for now I’m continuing with SleepTalk™ as I believe it has been invaluable to our family and I’m just hoping all continues to go well for us.”

Asperger’s Syndrome / Anxiety / Nightmares

Session 1

Presenting Issue
“J” is a very anxious child who has a fear of being left behind by his parents. He is also experiencing night tremors, stuttering, nail biting, lack of confidence and is melodramatic and “sooky”.

Detailed Case History
“J” was lost at a carnival a year before and since then does not let his parents out of his sight. If his parents need to go somewhere without him he has an anxiety attack (trouble breathing and panicking).

His parents need to sit with him and explain they will come back each and every day before going to work, before dropping him off at school or to other family members if they need to go out. Even when his parents are in the next room and “J” cannot see them he continually calls out for reassurance that they are still nearby.

This is all becoming a big burden to “J”’s parents but their main concern is school. One of them has to stay at school, stay through assembly and wait around until “J” goes into class. “J” is also very sensitive and is not integrating with others in his class.
“J”’s parents are also concern with his melodramatics e.g. if he knocks his leg then all hell breaks loose even if there is no damage/cut/blood etc.

Process/Discussion
I explained the SleepTalk Process to “S” and “J”, answered any questions/concerns and then we proceeded to complete “Where Does My Child Stand Now?” (see attached).
The major areas highlighted as Very Poor/Poor in this process were:

Reading Skills
Nail Biting
Ability to Remain Calm
Ability to Cope Without Parents

“S” and “J” both committed to the SleepTalk Process and couldn’t wait to get home and start.

Session 2

Feedback
“S” and “J” were amazed at the change in “J” over a four week period. As we went through “Where Does My Child Stand Now” there were significant improvements in specific areas up to 80%.

“J” had a couple of evenings where he didn’t complete the script, as one evening “J” sat bolt upright in bed and “J” thought he was awake so he just said “I love you” and left the room. Another evening “J” just said “I know, I know” so “J” again said “I love you” and left the room.
Both “S” and “J” have been diligent about working with “J” every night. In four weeks they only missed two evenings.

Not experiencing any night tremors
School has been fun – he now “loves his friends”
No more waiting in assembly line.
Happy to say goodbye each morning to go to school.
Hasn’t been asking (over the last two weeks), “where are you?”
No longer biting his nails – “S” had to actually cut them
Is spending longer periods of time alone playing.
Has come out of his shell at school and more a leader than a follower.
Cut his finger a week ago and did not whine, was not as dramatic and managed to stay calm.
Had to leave “J” with his cousin for a day and they were going to go swimming. This would normally be a nightmare but once “S” told him and asked if he would be OK, he said “I’m a bit nervous but I will be OK”

Primary Area of Need
The family is moving to a country town in a month and “J” needs to start a new school. “S” and “J” have discussed this with him and he seems OK but they would like to continue with SleepTalk to ensure that he copes well with this move and fits into his new school with the minimum of anxiety.

Specific Suggestions Given
We all worked together to formulate the following suggestion:
You’re safe, you belong and it’s OK to be you.

Session 3

Feedback
This session was completed by phone:
The move has gone well for “J”. He had a reoccurrence of night tremors in the first week but has not had any further occurrences. He has assimilated fantastically at his new school and has made a lot of new friends.

“J” is also enjoying the rural life and loves playing with the farm animals and not worrying about where his parents are at all times.

End Result
“S” and “J” said they will keep using SleepTalk, alternating between the foundation process and their primary suggestion.

Pre-school issues, anger, nightmares

June 2010

Dear Joane,

I received the book and CD about a week ago. I have read the book, all except the last 2 chapters, and I have been using it for 6 nights now. I didn’t realise that I should have listened to the CD before beginning, will do that tomorrow (I thought the CD was just the book being read aloud). Anyway, it is still early but it seems to be working! My 5 year old son has been having a few problems at preschool and has been a bit angry and over emotional lately, nightmares etc, so we decided to just work on his confidence and try to increase his sense of security as a first port of call. Today he came up to me and asked me if I was happy (the song “if you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands” was on in the background). I told him I was and asked him if he was happy, to which he replied “Yes! I’m happy! I’m clapping!”. Both he and my 6 year old daughter have told me they have also been having happy dreams, which is a big change from a few weeks ago when they were both waking up scared every night.

My daughter also just seems somehow a bit more settled. She has been telling me she loves me over the last few days, which I realised she normally doesn’t do unless I say it first. Today I thought to myself that it seems like she now “feels it in her bones” that I do love her. I also think that doing the process is good for me, I feel like I am on the path to giving them the most important, valuable thing I could ever give them, which is a deep feeling of being alright within themselves. So in that way, I feel like I am on the way to fulfilling the goal I have set myself as a parent, instead of constantly feeling like I’m getting it wrong, and letting the children down. As I say, it is still early days, but so far so good!

I was very interested to read in your book that nightmares are a sign of things not sitting quite right in the child’s subconscious, so my husband and I have been trying to also go over the day with the children before bed and apologise if we have blurted out anything that might have caused them any confusion. It makes so much sense to send them off to sleep having cleared up any misunderstandings, but having it spelled out as it is in your book, has really helped us to focus on that.

I found out about your book from a psychologist and hypnotherapist who saw you speaking at a conference a few years ago, as I mentioned that I was trying to help my children with night terrors. He wrote down your name for me and I followed it up through your website.

Thanks again for writing Joane, I will keep in touch and email your if I have any questions along the way.

Kind regards, SC

Nightmares

As we all know the level of stress from the Black Saturday was incredible and as adults its hard to come to terms with it. My 7 year old daughter ‘A’ (the youngest of 4) had a really hard time. She was old enough to know but not old enough to rationalize. The nightmares continue well into May and June, it was only after we had some decent rain did the fear seem to go away. I was thrilled but only to be flawed when the first warm day we had and there was a “control burn” going on in the area did I realize the nightmare was still there. It was about this time I was introduced to the Yarra Valley Practitioners group. I discussed my daughter with the coordinator who advised me of a lovely lady that was helping the children of the area. Judy a professional therapist working with Kinesiology was only more than pleased to help ‘A’, which after the first session she claimed “I am no longer scared of fires, spiders or Lord Voldemort”. Even though we knew it would take longer than one session to help the worries it was a really positive step in the right direction. We are continuing to work with Judy and I am noticing an extra calm within ‘A’ these days.

I am also practicing the children program of “Sleep Talk” and I do believe between the aid of these 2 programs we are making good progress. These angels of assistance are truly a god send to my family.

Y.S. – Chum Creek 2009

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