SleepTalk™ for Children

Eating / Swimming / Separation Anxiety

Consultant – Case history feedback: “The parents loved the idea of the Goulding SleepTalk™ process and couldn’t wait to get started!  After reading through the website and literature I had given her, mum felt that this is such an amazing, yet simple program.  They have two sons, ‘J’ and ‘N’.  Dad has his own business and works Monday to Friday and also goes away for work at times, for 1 -2 week stints.  Mum is an extremely organized person who follows through on commitments, so I am looking forward to seeing how their journey progress’.

1st discussion March 2011
Mum feels ‘J’ is too clingy and would like to see him more confident in himself, not necessarily an extrovert though, just himself.  He loves food and will eat anything but relies on mum feed spooning him still.   He will push mums buttons, for example nagging if she is on the phone to get off.  Mum tries not to growl at him but also doesn’t want him to have ‘no boundaries’ either so instead tries to discuss it with him calmly and in a manner that he understands.  Dad was away for the 1st week that SleepTalk™ started but was more than willing and happy to implement the process as well.

After a few days, I received this text message from mum: “I had to let you know, it seems that just in the last few days ‘J’ has been happy to do more things without me being right beside him. Today at the park he rode off on his bike with his mate and played without me for ages!!  Oh I hope it keeps up! Xx”

A couple of weeks after I received the first text message, I received the following, “Loving the SleepTalk….and I’m sticking with it, he is responding well”.  Mum was very happy with the process and is very diligent and I feel that she has done wonderfully in that she has picked up on the subtly within his behavior.

May 2011. Feedback regarding his eating habits was very positive so we developed some ‘specific’ suggestions to deal with his confidence and fear of swimming and Mum loved the support suggestions and was looking forward to seeing how he responded to them.  A week later she sent me through the following feedback: “…..we had swimming at 4pm…..and…..NO TEARS!!!!!  He had a ball.  He was back to the old ‘J’ I know and love and he kicked, and he swam and he jumped in off the side like mad!!!  Thanks heaps …I LOVE THIS SLEEPTALK caper!!”

Conclusion: Mum is rapt with this whole process.  She is more than happy to continue and as other issues arise, implement further statements. I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to work with this family.  Mum is an extremely honest and grounded person and is so impressed with the Goulding process and has no hesitation what so ever recommending it to others, and for her to keep it up for many years to come.  She is very grateful for this “gift” for her son and can see the benefits right in front of her eyes.  The only question she has is: “Why doesn’t every parent do this?”

Consultant – Natalie Oakley – Vic.

Separation anxiety & sibling rivalry

March 2010

My husband and I have made it our mission to find a solution to help our 5 year old daughter with her anxiety and separation issues.  She is naturally a highly sensitive and obedient child (which affects her self confidence and ultimately other areas of her development).  The main issue we really wanted to help her address is separation, particularly at kindergarten, in order to help her deal better with separation when she starts school in 12 months’ time. “I” worries about everything from the rain ruining the clothes to her little sister getting lost in the crowd.  We read quite a few books that suggested difference theories and strategies, we sought counsel from several professionals like GPs, Teachers, other parents, Kinaesiologists and Psychologists then we discovered SleepTalk and Joane Goulding.

The main concern we had is her anxiety related to separation mainly at Kindergarten and even with grandparents and with Dad, she just wanted to be with me – her Mum.  The tears and stress would start sometimes two days before kinder day then on the morning of kinder she would be crying quietly during breakfast.  It was heartbreaking to watch and even more sad that we had no solution to help our little girl.

Once I got my hands on the book I read it and started the Foundation process instantly, I then sought counsel from Joane Goulding and we began the “Where Does My Child Stand Now” process.  It took several weeks to observe any Feedback so we continued the Foundations process for about 6-8 weeks.

In just a few short weeks we started to see amazing results, the initial results where not the ones we were looking for.  “I” started to display voluntary and positive signs of affection which she used to sometimes hold back, she also seemed more relaxed.  We knew this feedback must be a direct result of SleepTalk.

Another consultation with Joane and completion of the “Where Does My Child Stand Now” and ongoing use of the SleepTalk process brought us to the goal we’ve been aiming for – one morning while preparing to go to kinder and I was prepared for the usual anxiety and sadness with the lead up to saying goodbye.  She looked at me and with certainty she said “I’m going to be happy today at kinder and I’m not going to cry when we say goodbye” – one can only imagine how emotional and excited I was to hear this.  Both days that week she did exactly that, I believe she had her breakthrough and she is so excited and proud of herself, she continued to remind me of her success for several days.

Her behaviour change has been consistent from this day on.  “I” is now 6 years old, has started school and much to the amazement of everyone who thought she may have issues again in a new environment, she is elated with school, wants to be there every day (and even at night).

NC

Social skills & separation anxiety

March 2007 – Cookie Harkin – BABYSWIM Australia

Dear Cookie,
I just wanted to write this letter to thank you so much for introducing me to the SleepTalk™ program. I honestly can’t tell you how much of a difference it has made to my son’s life. I can’t believe how a program such as this could have such a powerful impact; it really is a “miracle”.

My son will be four years old at the end of this month; basically, he had not made much progress in terms of his social skills in a year. He did not play with the other children at all and I was told he engaged in “solitary” and “parallel” play. Even when his teacher physically put him in amongst a group of children, he would still play by himself and not engage in conversation with the others. He never contributed verbally to the class and was too shy to say hello or bye to the other children when prompted. Last year there were tears every time I dropped him off at kinder, even at the start of this year as well. He was invited to a few birthday parties but he didn’t want to walk in the door. He would make such a scene with his tears and tantrums that often we would just give a child their present and leave. When we would stay, he would not want to participate in activities and just wanted to sit and watch the other kids.

When you told me to use SleepTalk™ I was very sceptical but I thought I’d give it a go anyway. It really was such a simple process yet so amazingly effective. I would wait for him to fall asleep then come back in 30 minutes and resent the process. I also reinforced the statements approximately once or twice a day when he was conscious.

I really expected to see results (if there was going to be any) in 3 weeks because this is what I read in a pamphlet you gave me but by the fifth day, his teacher said he was a different child. I was astounded yet very happy.  She said he was engaging in play with the other children and on one particular day he was such a chatterbox they couldn’t shut him up. He is now happy to go to kinder in the morning and looks forward to it. No more tears! I have been told he has also put up his hand and made several contributions to group discussions. The other day we were in our local library and he met another boy and actively engaged in social play with him without my prompting or encouraging him. Something he has never done before. He is now also happy to say hello to our neighbours, something he was too shy to do before.

As you can see Cookie, SleepTalk has had such a positive impact on our family. My son is happier and while he will never be an extrovert, he has made significant progress and will continue to improve. I am still continuing with the program every night and will use it to grow his confidence and self-esteem. I still can’t believe how something that takes such little effort (a few minutes a night) can do so much good. Thank you for lending me the SleepTalk™ book by Joane Goulding but I now have my own copy.

PV – Melbourne.

Anxiety and separation

My husband and I have made it our mission to find a solution to help our 5 year old daughter with her anxiety and separation issues. She is naturally a highly sensitive and obedient child (which affects her self confidence and ultimately other areas of her development). The main issue we really wanted to help her address is separation, particularly at kindergarten, in order to help her deal better with separation when she starts school next year.

We read quite a few books that suggested difference theories and strategies, we sought counsel from several professionals like GPs, Teachers, other parents, Kinaesiologists and Psychologists then we discovered SleepTalk and Joane Goulding. In just a few short weeks we started to see amazing results, the initial results where not the ones we were looking for. Our daughter started to display voluntary and positive signs of affection which she used to sometimes hold back, she also seemed more relaxed. Another consultation with Joane and ongoing use of the SleepTalk process brought us to the goal we’ve been aiming for – last week we were preparing to go to kinder and I was prepared for the usual anxiety and sadness with the lead up to saying goodbye.

I had been talking with Isabella during the day (apart from SleepTalk) about her making a decision to stop crying when we say goodbye at kinder. I said “when you’re ready, it would be a good idea to do it”. This morning she said she’ll try, a few minutes later she looked at me and with great certainty she said “I am going to be happy today and not cry when we say goodbye”. – one can only imagine how emotional and excited I was to hear this. I congratulated her and she did it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Both days that week she did exactly that, I believe she had her breakthrough and she is so excited and proud of herself, she continued to remind me of her success.
YIPPEE!!!

When I picked her up, she said she stayed happy all day. She’s still very excited about her success and you can only imagine how I feel.

We are dedicated to this process and continue to use it with both our daughters to help them with the natural anxieties and behavioural areas needing attention. The wonderful benefits of SleepTalk is that it is non threatening to our children (unlike the other interventions we tried), they don’t even know we’re doing it J. Also it involves us, which we love and it is cost effective. I really hope that this information will help other parents to give SleepTalk a try, when committed to it, they will be amazed and proud of the results.

Thank you Joane for your passion and interest in sharing such an amazing tool for parents to use. Our children are priceless and so is SleepTalk.

Natalie Cossar

 
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